On the 28th April 2018, a young poet called Dan Collins was found dead in the woodlands by his home in Birmingham. He’d taken his own life. This was done, at least in part, because I had made the incredibly selfish decision to stop being his girlfriend. This decision would go on to affect the rest of my adult life. DC was brilliant. DC was awful. DC died at 22 years old. I decided to escape from this reality by moving away to Basque Country, hoping to 'Eat, Pray, Love' my way out of the survivor’s guilt and PTSD. This did not work. Instead, I had a nervous breakdown. Away from all the people who loved me, un-medicated, and isolated in a country where I didn’t speak the language, I managed to incredibly successfully push myself over the edge. It was a bad decision. I did however, manage to keep a diary of this inevitable mental decline. That diary is 'And Marvel'. Too many young men are killing themselves because they don’t have socially-accepted, appropriate means to cope with their mental health issues. Musings on this are explored within the book. As a result of these suicides, too many young women are being held accountable for the mental health of violent and manipulative men. Through this book, I show myself deeply struggling through failed romances and attempts to overcome my problems by running away from them through the medium of stream of consciousness, script, and poetry. I wanted to show this reality from the perspective of a flawed, grieving person. I wanted, most importantly, to keep DC alive in the only way I could.