Clinician Hardis says she never planned to write a book. Her self-help debut was born out of a stinging incident: being ghosted by her date for a spa celebration on her fifty-first birthday. She had already learned of “relationship betrayal” during the messy and painful end of her marriage, but despite all she knew from her practice and experience she still found herself devastated, confounded, and ready to shut down. That is, until she remembered the truth: “I realized that I knew how to get through this.” Moving on meant she had to allow herself to feel, allow life to unfold, to engage in it while I felt sad, mad, rejected, alone, pathetic, frustrated, happy, ambivalent, and uncertain.”

That process compelled her to write this inviting, clarifying book, a guide that’s frank about how books on these topics often promise more than they deliver: “none of the changes you are hoping for will show up and become commonplace simply by reading about them or reciting a mantra,” she notes. Hardis argues that although many of us know what to do when life gets hard, how to actually do it confounds people—and that “toxic positivity” and inspirational quotes don’t cut it. Just Do Nothing makes the case that healing and lasting change come from learning to tolerate the discomfort of feelings and differentiating between “I can’t” and “I can’t yet.”

Each chapter is titled for a self-help true-ism (“Choose a Positive Thought”; “Let it Go”) that Hardis explores with wit and good sense, offering healthier advice, exercises, and strategies instead. Transitions take time, effort, and repetition, and the original action steps at each chapter’s end steer the reader to build new habits at their own pace. Hardis acknowledges that this takes effort. Building distress tolerance demands practice, and she demonstrates how to treat emotions like waves which build, peak, and then pass, so that we learn to ride the current.

Takeaway: Inspiring, original guide to facing hurt, gaining confidence, and letting yourself feel.

Comparable Titles: Susan David’s Emotional Agility, Marc Brackett’s Permission to Feel.

Production grades
Cover: A
Design and typography: A
Illustrations: N/A
Editing: A-
Marketing copy: A